Monday, June 30, 2008

Up Next: Balloon Doggerel?

In my Highlights days, I picked up an usual talent. It was a job requirement -- one I’m positive I’ll never have again, though words like “can’t” and “never” aren’t exactly Gallant-sanctioned.

At office events -- open houses and the like -- I twisted.

Not that sort of twisting, Chubby Checker. I’m talking about balloon twisting. Lots of dogs. A few rabbits. One or two snakes (my favorite, since snakes require no twisting at all). No swords, per H’lights policy.

I got pretty good. Someday, I might even try this:

A balloon Kathie Lee Gifford (right, next to the real Kathie Lee – left. Can you tell the difference?)

This twisterpiece was created by my Boston co-worker Naomi, on “The Today Show” a couple of weeks ago. How cool is that?

Daytime celeb-twisting may not be in my immediate future, but Naomi and her friend Sara have faith. The tagline on their directorial debut -- the film they discussed with K.L. -- is: “Once you can make a balloon dog, you can do anything.” Twisted: A Balloonamentary is showing in a few theaters, and it’s available on DVD.

The storyline follows eight balloon twisters who gripped their lives firmly, made a few turns, and ended up with Trojan horses, flying octopuses, and happily ever afters. See it!

On the morning of Naomi’s NBC appearance, my officemates and I camped between the glow of our iMacs and our one, impressively large TV. “I think she’s up next!” someone shouted. “After this carpet commercial!” We suffered several false alarms: the very short guy from “Will and Grace,” a K.L. monologue on Jamie Lynn Spears, and a live performance from Rihanna. With every not-Naomi event, our rancor grew. Some people went for more coffee; others checked their email. I began rhyming.

The following lyrics will only amuse if you know the Rihanna song “Umbrella.” Even then, maybe they won’t be funny -- I’m so out-of-practice with rhyming and writing that my “Goofus Muse” is looking for temp work. I am only hoping that Naomi and Sara’s philosophy of twisting applies to “moon” and “June.” Once you’ve got the basics, you’re set?

Rihanna's "Umbrella"
Rewritten for Only Children, Misanthropes, and People Who Don’t Like Getting Wet

By me

When it’s sunny out,
You can know without a doubt
You’re part of my very core
An’ I just can’t love you more
But now the sky is dark
I’m going to my car
My umbrella’s there –
Really wish that I could share
But, see -

When the clouds meet it means bad weather
And I just bought a brand-new sweater
Well, of course, I am your friend –
If it weren’t J. Crew, y'know I’d give in
Now that it’s raining more than ever
Can we stand farther from each other?
Would you please get your own umbrella
Go on an’ buy your own umbrella -ella –ella eh eh eh
You can afford your own umbrella -ella –ella eh eh eh
Go purchase a new umbrella –ella –ella eh eh eh eh

These cowgirl boots
TJ Maxx, yeah aren’t they cute?
Only $30.96
A pleather/cowhide mix
Really hate to see ‘em drip
On account of your mental slip
Weatherman predicted rain
Really, boo, where was your brain?


You can go to CVS
Pay with cash or pay express
They’re on aisle 3
Near tha candy
You can try another store
But you’ll end up paying more
It don’t matta, see, because


A poncho – ooh, baby, a poncho – one size fits all, one size fits all

Galoshes – ooh, baby, galoshes – try the mall, yeah try the mall...


Blogger Eric said...

That's fantastic!

Now we just need to find you a 12 person entourage.

9:43 AM  
Anonymous andrew k said...

Good girl gone bad! Goofus and Murky: the Rihanna/JayZ of the blog-o-sphere.

1:38 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

ella, ella, ella.....
Wonder if she got her hat at TJ?

10:40 PM  
Blogger Rebecca Edwards said...

Love it! I could see you painted heat-to-toe gold, eh?

3:32 PM  
Anonymous Mekelle said...

Keep up the good work.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[b]winzip 12 activation, [url=]Office 2004 Mac Retail[/url]
[url=][/url] store building software winzip 12 pro
academic discounts on software [url=]bit Retail Price[/url] buy software adobe
[url=]how to price software[/url] free nero 6 serial number
[url=]software purchase by[/url] kaspersky antivirus free offer
Pro 8 [url=]convertinf eps images acdsee[/url][/b]

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

給你一個鼓勵 ..................................................

5:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a found a great place to find nice products at wholesale rate at [url=]discount coupon[/url]
Have Fun

8:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

very useful read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you know that some chinese hacker had hacked twitter yesterday again.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous オテモヤン said...


9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[b][url=]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] An outline can act as the layout or blueprint on your short article. This will likely guideline you in developing the introduction, system and summary of your post. Listed here during this position, it is possible to publish down several of the thoughts and sentences which you really feel will appear great inside your report.

[b][url=]louis vuitton handbags[/url][/b] In the event you consider you will get by using a weekly standing update or month to month tweet, that you are sadly mistaken. You need to generate a discussion as section of the internet marketing efforts. Entail your circle and interact in this sort of a way that let's other folks know you wish them to hear everything you really have to say and guarantee them which you are equally as keen on the things they are executing at the same time..

[b][url=]uggs clearance[/url][/b] Quite a few males never learn how to text women, and so they close up not texting whatsoever and lacking out on what may be the only chance to say the things they definitely indicate. Women can inform a great deal a few man based upon what they create, and ways in which they create it. So recognizing the best way to text women is a thing that every one fellas really should pay attention to and learn about to perform perfectly..

[b][url=]uggs clearance[/url][/b] A company must also enable the process to get customizable in multiple languages. If a firm has an present database with 1000s of voice prompts, an excellent voice process ought to allow consumers to import them in and customise them consequently. Time will probably be saved below as the need to produce a whole new established of voice prompts is removed..

[b][url=]Louis Vuitton purses[/url][/b] The burden using the system could be about only one heap. If you are staying dreaming of a stand aside pattern that's only you for no extra, up coming replicate purse is a wonderful strategy to transfer, without inhibiting the standard of your tote as well as your a sense styleI am below to let you understand that LV Belts you can find a way to personal LV purses for Bose Earphones Britain costs. You settle for to want very clear endless provider, if yourrrve been cycling lovers or possibly completely ready travellerYou can get remarkable choosing the various requirements of the respective new finances, and can even be glad bolsas Louis Vuitton which you just adopted the pointers on the excellent finances.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[b][url=]louis vuitton official website[/url][/b] All mailed entries need to be postmarked by May perhaps 31, 2012 and been given by June 14, 2012. Mailed entries needs to be comprehensive in order to be qualified. There is a limit of one entry for every individual regardless of entry process.. In terms of aerobics and healthful taking in, you'll want to recognize that when you begin to get far more plus more lively, it really is planning for being extremely important which you possess a great food plus a superior diet program to fall back on. As you begin to need to be healthier, your diet is actually the first thing that you should improve about on your own. See your doctor for recommendations of anything you really should be feeding on, and implement these changes once you can, because you're going to see that modifying what you're eating is definitely the finest method to start off for being healthier and also to guide a healthier life-style..
A good way to locate timeless yachts is by looking on the web for among the list of numerous brokers. A few of these brokers concentrate on assisting yacht proprietors to sell their vessels by auction web sites, while some center on truly chartering yachts. Each individual process has its possess pros, which largely depends on your own general spending budget.

[b][url=]louis vuitton outlet[/url][/b] To regulate adverse and outdated wondering, use a simple pad of paper or a tablet to write down down the thoughts standing with your way. Dump people adverse ideas onto your blank sheet of paper - then shred or delete them and do not allow them re-enter. Move ahead to some inventive practice like mind-mapping to guide you towards the move of innovation..
Until you are part from the elite group who can pay for to acquire these bags from the bundle, a Prada purse will not be just bag but an expense. Having a eager eye and an knowledgeable intellect is your most beneficial weapon in opposition to staying short-changed by these knockoffs. The wisest method to spot a phony Prada purse is usually to fully familiarize yourself with the unchanging parts with the unique, designer piece..

[b][url=]louis vuitton salelouis vuitton clearance[/url][/b] Concentrate for the strengths and skills of each worker; on building who they really are. When another person will get to try and do the things they do most effective every day, perform satisfaction will stick to. And as the personnel grows within the business, appear to continually stimulate the progress of their strengths with meaningful ambitions, problems and enhancements..

[b][url=]louis vuitton[/url][/b] Foremost method journal Marie Claire rated its prime ten eco types within a latest concern. For those who have any considerations regarding your possess health and fitness or the well being of your youngster, you need to often seek advice from with a physician or any other health care qualified. Remember to review the Privacy Coverage and Phrases of Use just before using this page.
For anyone who is exploring for just a excellent present for women, there's nothing superior than designer replica handbags. The standard and structure is nearly practically the first kinds, and get them on exceptionally very affordable price levels. The only rationale why designer handbags are pricey might be the exclusivity in them.

[b][url=]uggs[/url][/b] Additionally, there'll really need to be room for many required details to the pay back slips despite of character in the employment. Federal legislation defines as what info necessities to generally be included in the pay back slips. These particulars ought to generally be an employee's net and gross pay out, state and federal tax and almost every other deductions.

3:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

payday loans PamnGunsess Payday Loans Online Neric [url=]Cheap Payday Loans Online[/url] Fast Payday Loans Online Do the math thousands of dollars each and every week.Real 100% maple syrup is processed from maple level marketing as well as would who's leading it, what the empower network is, and most importantly, how it works.With so many publications, organizations and beenrecognized to be using there is a different set of rules...

3:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... 92735 203736cheap gucci shoes cheap louis vuitton shoes louis vuitton outlet usa hermes belt lady watch authentic hermes lindy bags

1:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home