Saturday, December 15, 2007

Ode To Hall & Oates, 12/8

‘Twas a night in December
And through Our Fair City,
The T was a’hummin’
With a Hall & Oates ditty.
“Watch out,” the crowd sang,
“The woman is wild!”
“She’ll chew you up faster
Than ol’ Sara smiled.”

Murk in his jacket
And I in Clinique
Through the Orpheum’s curtains
We stole a quick peek.
“I see him!” I squealed
To my cute blogger beau.
“That’s John Oates himself!
And he’s still got his ‘fro!”

Up three flights we shuffled
A nosebleed? Who cares!
With tissues in pocket,
We dashed to our chairs.

“Here’s a number,” Hall grinned,
“That you’ll know very well!
It’s a holiday hit,
Called ‘The First Noel.’”
The audience puzzled
Ah well, ‘tis the season...
A carol to start?
There must be a reason!
They’re saving ‘Maneater’ for tune #2
A full Christmas concert? No way! No can do.

Like sheep to two shepherds,
We followed along,
Then perked up our ears
For the duo’s next song.

The first chords swelled up
With a tambourine’s clatter
“This can’t be...,” I murmured.
“Something’s the matter.”
“This next one,” Hall laughed,
“Takes me back to my youth!”
Was he born singing “Rich Girl”?
Or would that be uncouth?
“Children, Go Where I Send Thee!”
Daryl chuckled with glee.
“Bathroom,” I whispered,
“That’s my cue to pee.”

In the aisles, eyes were wandering,
Wondering, too –
Could this be a dream? Was our dream coming true?
All eggnog and thistle,
And no “Private Eyes”?
Had they talked to their agent?
Was this really wise?

“Enough!” someone shouted. “Get on with the show!”
“No Santa! No Rudolph! No ‘dreaming of snow!’”

Hall glanced at Oates, with a grimace most dour.
“We’re saving your faves for the end of the hour.
Be patient!” he grumbled.
The crowd merely hissed:
“Your holiday music is not on our list.”

The bellows and sneers were too loud to deflect.
They triggered a sort of “Reverse Grinch Effect,”
The more protests rang
Off each woofer and tweeter
The more Christmas came,
With no sign of “Maneater.”

At last, Hall obliged,
But his cheer came too late.
For types “lean and hungry,”
We’d just have to wait.
Two encores, and then - the band drove out of sight
With nary “Maneater” to wrap up the night.

And it could be my heart
Is two sizes too small
But I’m holding a grudge
Against Srs. Oates and Hall.
They gave us our Christmas,
Like good little elves,
But the biggest, best present
They kept for themselves!

4 Comments:

Blogger Eric said...

I continue to waffle on whether Maneater wasn't part of the repertoire, or they just didn't play it out of spite for an incredibly rude audience. Either way, the show wasn't bad. We did get to hear 'Out of Touch' & 'I Can't Go For That', as well as watch the tambourine player perform some mighty groovy dance moves. Plus, I bumped right into Doug Flutie while turning around from the urinal after taking a piss.

Nope, no grudge here. Good night all around.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous *jaime said...

SO JEALOUS that you got to see Hall & Oates!! Lucky ducks! Sorry to hear about all the carols, but I own the Air Supply Christmas album, so trust me when I say it could have been worse.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Jesseanna said...

It was an excellent concert, I'll admit.

Hall must have cryogenically frozen his voice in 1980 - he still sounds fantastic. (I can't speak for Oates, as he seems to be more of a 'Silent Bob' figure.)

But no "Maneater"? Come on! That was as deliberate as Donna Reed leaving her bathrobe on a shrub in IAWL. Especially since they were selling "Maneater" shirts in the lobby.

1:18 PM  
Anonymous *jaime said...

Yes, it is rather heinous. I saw Jackson Browne open for someone once and he didn't play "Somebody's Baby." That's the only JB song I like! I'm still holding that against him.

9:45 AM  

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