Gimme a "V"

It's coincidental that I received those two semi-anonymous lashings below -- the topic of my next post was going to be how tired of myself I am. Seriously. I've now been in Charlottesville for a month, and the social interactions count is at 3 or 4. At least one of those exchanges was between me and Lizzie the Crab. Like me, Lizzie lives de facto alone. Dave's ascended at last, and the other shells were never inhabited to begin with.

I, too, have the appearance of roommates: I share a kitchen and living room with two medical students and a biochem graddie. Their shells are filled with books containing phenylketonuria, and acesulfame potassium and other Diet Coke-can words I can't pronounce. And their shells are usually abandoned, in favor of the medical library. How 'bout another game of Solitaire, Lizzie...

So, I'd like to fritter my mornings at Central Perk, exchanging sugar packets and witticisms with hip quarterlifers. But I suspect they've paired off: Ross-Rachel, Monica-Chandler. Either I must find Paul Rudd or get an eponymous TV show. If you're weary of "Jesseanna: the Blog," just wait for "Jesseanna: the Series."

This all sounds a little self-piteous, doesn't it? I wasn't going for that effect. Truth is, I pity my parents and devoted long-distance friends, who must listen to me whine about crammed syllabi and impenetrable social circles. Well, now I sound self-deprecating. Damn. It's hard to escape the "self" on a blog, isn't it?

Even without the occasional anonymous flaming, I'm paying for my ego-tripping. Last week's Well Being seminar focused on the essentials of achieving happiness. Two words: don't blog. Our guest lecturer read from two chapters of his book, The Happiness Hypothesis. Here's the important equation: H = S + C + V. Happiness equals your "set point" (genetic predisposition), plus conditions of your life, plus voluntary activities. And you thought you needed a guru to figure this out.

I'd say my "set point" for happiness is pretty high. It doesn't take much to stir my endorphins -- drinking a C2 Coke will do it, or hearing "Dyer Maker" on the radio. My life conditions are good, too. I'm in an air-conditioned apartment with two packs of Morningstar meat-free chicken in the freezer.

It's the "V" that's bringing me down.

In my free time, I blog. Well, I also watch "Martha Stewart: Apprentice," but for now we'll say blogging is more condemnable. By definition, blogging is selfish. It's a solitary activity, based on introspection. Self, and....self. The Happiness Hypothesis says, "You're in trouble, pal." If you want satisfaction (Rolling Stones-brand or otherwise), you must leave the laptop. To paraphrase further, quality and quantity of interpersonal relationships is the single most important predictor of happiness. Apparently, numerous studies show that, on average, men aren't happier than women; African Americans aren't happier than Whites; the rich and famous aren't happier than the middle class (though it's key to have food, shelter, etc.). Yet, people with social ties are happier than loners; extroverts are happier than introverts.

As it follows, Friday-night beer pongers are happier than Friday-night bloggers. Bottoms up.

The actual blogging isn't as damaging as the act of self-consideration. In another positive psychology study (Lyubomirsky and Ross, if you're interested), participants were classified as "happy" or "unhappy," based on the Subjective Happiness Scale. They were then asked to rate 10 fancy desserts and choose their top 4. Later, a researcher informed them that they'd get to pick between their second-rated or third-rated dessert. Not ideal, but, hey, it's free shortcake. Before taking out their forks, participants had to rate the desserts a second time -- and before this re-rating, they were asked to focus on their "feelings and personal characteristics" or on "neutral images, objects, and geographical scenes."

In other words, they were divided into bloggers and non-bloggers.

You might know the outcome. When forced to think about themselves, the "happy" bunch derogated the desserts they were missing, thereby matching behavior previously shown by "unhappy" individuals. The study concludes: "It is not surprising that even happy individuals induced to reflect about themselves and their emotions may begin to ponder the implications of their decisions."

Happy bloggers better quit while they're smiling.

Unfortunately, I just can't stop. Not yet. Execrable as it is, blogging -- or, writing -- brings me "flow." I got the word "flow" from Psychology 101. Mihalyi Csikszenmihalyi....you may have heard of him? He said "flow" is the je ne sais quoi of hobby enjoyment. It's the natural high you get from engaging in a challenging-yet-achievable activity. In the words of The Happiness Hypothesis, "The keys to flow are: there's a clear challenge that fully engages your attention; you have the skills to meet the challenge; and you get immediate feedback about how you are doing." Sometimes, the feedback is, "You suck." So it goes.

I'm posting this on a Saturday morning. The birds are chirping. The beer pongers are sleeping in. I'm going to Starbucks for my daily journal article-reading and Frappucino slurping. Ross and Rachel won't greet me there, but I'm happy, anyway. Dessert, anyone?