Ode To My First Day In A New Job, In A New City*

I cannot go to work today
There’s too much Scrabulous to play,
Clothes to buy,
New ‘dos to try,
And bills I should pretend to pay.

Plus, I think my car won’t start
My brand-new shoes have come apart
See? My toe is poking through....
Work, today, I cannot do!

My favorite show comes on at 3,
And Netflix sent a DVD.
It’s obvious I have to stay!
The houseplant wilts when I’m away.

The server crashed, and--what?
What’s that you say?
You say today’s....Columbus Day?
As in....it’s a paid holiday?

Hm! I thought that’s what you said!
Goodbye, I’m going back to bed.


* apologies to the great Shel Silverstein