Elegy For My Emoticons

It seems I’ve o’erstepped my bounds
In making cyber smiles and frowns.
As habits go, this one needs quelling,
Lest punctuation starts rebelling.
The colon groans, then gently sighs,
“Do quit using me for eyes.
I stand for lists, objects in rows,
Not atop a hyphen nose.”
Parentheses, they cannot speak -
Too horrified and incomplete.
The left one smirks; the right one glowers,
Forced apart by unseen powers.
Letter P retracts its tongue,
“My -oor heart, -ositively stung!”
And D, alas, finds nothing funny
Its -emeanor’s -outless less-than-sunny.
Letter O is not in shock;
X desires the chance to talk.
B’s opti-wear will soon be shed,
“Contact lenses, please, instead?”
Yes, yes, my dears, I’m quite aware,
The S likes -traight, not wavy hair.
Emoticons, I’ve listened well!
But, tell me . . . might I LOL?